Weddi-quette
BY OLIVIA RHOLING
Weddi-quette is a play on the word “etiquette” and is the set of unspoken rules or norms that should be followed when attending a wedding. What are the unspoken, underlying rules that everyone should know and follow when attending a wedding?
Following the Rules on Wearing White
White is the bride’s color for the day, and it should stay that way. Ideally, a person only gets married once in their life, and so it shouldn’t hurt to let the bride have her moment and be the only one wearing a certain color — in most cases, white. Anna Eiser, a sophomore studying child and family studies, is passionate about all things weddings.
“Don’t wear white unless you’re the bride and unless the bride specifies that it’s okay to wear white,” Eiser said. “It’s more of a traditional thing than anything, but I think for most people white is just kind of seen as the … star of the event. If you are wearing white, you are the bride, so it’s disrespectful to wear white. It’s almost like disagreeing with the wedding.”
However, it is noteworthy that it is also becoming a trend for brides to request their guests wear white to create a uniform aesthetic for pictures. Whether the bride wants guests to wear white or stay away from it, just make sure to listen and follow the requests of those whose big day it is.
Speeches
“If you’re giving a speech of any sort, it’s really important that you don’t talk about ex-lovers in the speeches,” Eiser said.
Not only would it be totally awkward to talk about the romantic relationship of the bride while her now-husband is right there in the room next to her, or vice-versa, but it would definitely make the rest of the crowd uncomfortable and potentially ruin the vibe of what could have been a happy day celebrating new love.
“Even if it was a totally amicable breakup, it’s really weird to bring up exes when you’re at a wedding for a new love. [The exes] have nothing to do with the situation,” Eiser said.
Audrey Bohyer, a senior studying entrepreneurship, is an aspiring wedding venue owner. Bohyer thinks speeches should be given by the Maid of Honor, the Best Man, and the parents of the newly-weds and thinks they should stray away from personal stories and inside jokes.
“What I’ve researched that [I’d] really like those people to do is write a poem for that person … or [read] a scripture that they feel correlates to love and to that person, just so that everyone can understand and be included,” Bohyer said.
For anyone giving a speech, try to focus on the love and relationship between the new lovers and don’t stray away from listing positive qualities of each — this will ensure a successful speech, no doubt.
Proposing
It’s usually best to not propose to a significant other when attending someone else’s wedding. Though it might make sense that weddings are about love, so it seems to be the perfect occasion, it’s really not anyone else’s place to do so. A wedding is to celebrate the love between two people, not a new proposal.
“I think it depends on the [people] hosting the wedding, but typically it is seen as very disrespectful if you get engaged at somebody’s wedding,” Eiser said. “Don’t just spontaneously propose to someone, it takes away the attention from the people who deserve it.”
Bohyer also thinks proposing at another person’s wedding is a big no-no.
“If someone else is proposing at a wedding, it’s taking away that specialness aspect for [the newlyweds],” Bohyer said.
Bringing Guests
Use discretion when choosing whether to bring a plus-one if they are allowed. It can be kind of weird for the bride and groom to have strangers at their big celebration, so follow best judgment and give guests careful consideration.
“I think plus-ones are acceptable if it’s a romantic relationship that [could be] considered serious,” Eiser said. “If you have a different partner every month, you shouldn’t bring your partner-of-the-month.”
Gift Registries
It’s not a secret that wedding guests often bring a gift to the wedding, as such a celebration usually calls for a gift or two. However, Bohyer thinks wedding hosts should be careful with how they approach this.
“Don’t put your [gift registry] right on the [invitation],” Bohyer said. “People know that they need to get you a gift.”
Putting links to a gift registry on a wedding invitation can leave the wrong impression and can take away from the happiness of an invitation to celebrate new love.
